I had a mixed feelings while waiting for my turn in the facility. The various thoughts of 'What-If' were lingering in my mind as I planned what should I do next if this doesn't work. Yet, I tried to think positively and that led me to unnecessary elation. As I heard my name, my heartbeat just stopped; I was nervous. As my husband and I sat down, doctor look through the report and then proceed with the ultrasound to look at the ovary. To my disappointment, the doctor said that the medication does not seems to help since I am not ovulating. The eggs were there in the ovary but not maturing.
As we discussed together with the doctor on what are the options again, it took us awhile to think about what do we want to do. Doctor suggested that we try the medicine again but this time with higher dosage. Since I am not ready for IVF or any other surgery, I decided to try again with the medication. The medicine remained as Clomid but was told to take 2 tablets per day instead of 1.
So, the cycle repeated for another month as I patiently look forward to my period through consuming Microgynon. So far, I continued with Metformin while taking other drugs as the doctor said it is fine to continue with Metformin where it helps for PCOS patient. I do noticed an abrupt weight gain but I was not sure if this is the caused of drugs or because I am eating a lot. I felt like I went through mood swing and mentally depressed at some point. I am still not sure if this is the effect of hormonal medication or the emotional challenge due to the constant waiting and anticipation of another disappointment. Does anyone have the same issue as mine?
Putting that emotion aside, the time gone by swiftly and we had another appointment to see if it works this time. On June 9, 2018, we went through the usual procedure again and enduring the long wait for your name to be called. The result remained the same and I felt disappointed again. At this point, I really think that there is nothing much that can be done to my ovulation - Is just useless! The doctor convinced that this is normal and it happens to some patients too. Once again, we need to think about what to do next and I started to really get tired of all these. Fair enough, the doctor mentioned that some patients do choose to go right into IVF because they do not want to take anymore medication and just keep waiting. At that point, we spoke about the cost of IVF and it is really costly for me. While at that time I was considering the Ovarian Drilling, I told my husband that I was afraid to drill anything into my body. I have not had any surgery before so, the thoughts of surgery left me with cold feet. At that very moment, Dr.Tan suggested if we want to try another medication which is like Clomid but again some people responds to it. Without hesitation, I agreed to go on one more round of medication. This time I am taking Femara. I look it up on the internet and notice that Femara usually provide higher chances of ovulation for those who do not respond to Clomid. It sounds promising to me but I have learnt not to have high hopes at this early stage.
I do not notice any different while taking Femara as compared to Clomid. Everything as per usual and yes, I still have some challenged emotionally. I am grateful that my husband being really patience during these period and always supporting me when I had a breakdown.
Another 3 weeks passed by and we are back again in the fertility center. I was hoping that this time might yield some good news since I have such a positive vibe on that day. Unfortunately, it remained the same result, but, I was not disappointed but rather feeling numb to the conclusion. I have thought about what next if this 3rd round of medication does not work prior to this appointment. I knew I will want to go through Ovarian Drilling. I have read many articles on the website to see other people feedback on this surgery. Also, Dr.Tan has been explaining to us how this work. Another method that the doctor suggest is Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) which is placing the sperm inside a woman's uterus to facilitate fertilization. However, the chances of getting pregnancy is really low - probably 30% - 40%, while Ovarian Drilling is about 60% and IVF about 80% - 90%. With that rating, I decided to go for the drilling based on the fact that this surgery is rather safe and will only take 1 hour, some patients even can discharged on the same day! Also, the cost of this surgery is around RM 10k which is rather standard in my opinion.
So, the preparation to go on this surgery begin.
To be continued...
. . .
- k a t e -
No comments:
Post a Comment